How to save a life
by Mizu-Tenshi
Summary: AU KuroFai Kurogane doesn't dislike people, they're just idiots. Fai doesn't have commitment issues, distance is good. It's too bad that one is the biggest wingnut ever and the other stands too close.
1. Chapter 1

Wow, something new! After a lot of thought and doubt, I finally churned this out. My first AU ever! Don't run away, AU's aren't that horrible, are they? From Kurogane's POV.

* * *

**Chapter one**

It was spring. The cherry blossom trees that lined the road were in full bloom, carpeting the way to school in pink snow. It was every romantic's best dream and every hayfever sufferer's worst nightmare but myself, being neither a romantic nor a sufferer of hayfever, passed them without much care.

It was spring and I was ready and prepared for another droning day of high school. The monotonous classes, the idle chatter that infected the room, the class hamster spinning in its wheel over and over and over and over…everything had just become another part of life.

It was spring and I sat at my desk by the window, watching the clouds pass me by.

It was spring when he arrived.

Yet I didn't notice it at first.

"Class, we have a new student. He just transferred here from overseas. Please, everyone, make him feel welcome."

How could I have noticed?

"Pleased to meet you."

How could I have known? The moment that I simply glanced in his general direction, without much care, I had already doomed myself.

"My name is Fai. I just transferred here. It's a pleasure."

No one can blame me. I didn't know.

XX

I was particularly attached to my seat during high school. My seat by the window let me glance out at the sky whenever I wanted. It was at the very back of the room, near the hamster that turned in its wheel as if there was no tomorrow, in a comfortable little corner, which meant that few people ever bothered me.

I can't say that I hated people, I just found a good majority of them to be idiots. I never thought of myself as intellectually superior, but one would be surprised how many high school students lacked the faculty of common sense…and good grammar. Good grammar was always important.

The lunch bell rang and the teacher ran out for food as quickly as possible before all was lost in a storm of students.

"Kurogane!" Tomoyo called to me, waking me from my trance.

I looked up as she came to my desk. In middle school she had once tried to dress me up in girl's clothes but, upon finding out that I was not cute in women's clothing and would _never _for-the-love-of-God-please-stopbe cute in women's clothing, she had since found other prey.

Now, she simply resigned herself to mothering me best as she could.

"Kurogane, let's eat!" she grabbed my arm, hauling me from my beloved desk.

I followed reluctantly, trailing behind and feeling the loss of my desk already. Yet as I exited, I caught the voices of those annoying girls filling the air with their senseless questions. I glanced over without a care only to see them huddled around the new kid's desk, bombarding him with over-enthusiastic questions.

"Where do you come from? What's your favourite band? What kind of school did you go to?"

"You must be smart to get accepted here in the middle of a term!"

"Do you like sweet things or sour things?"

They huddled around him so closely that I could hardly see him. Poor kid, he wouldn't survive a day here if he got on those rabid girls' bad side.

Well, however he dealt with them, it wasn't my problem.

Sliding the door shut, I followed Tomoyo to the cafeteria.

"Did you want to say hello?"

"Huh?" I looked distractedly at Tomoyo, unsure of what the hell she was talking about.

We walked down hallways, which were always ludicrously shiny. The windows were wide and tall to let as much sunlight in as possible, in rows of five between art displays and notice boards.

Tomoyo covered her giggle with a hand. "You look distracted so I was wondering if you wanted to say hello to the new transfer student."

I looked at her oddly, wondering just where she had gotten that crazy idea. "I don't really care," I shrugged and quickened my pace towards the cafeteria.

That was how life was and continued to be. The boring, seamless transition of days as one merged into the next. Those routine days continued for many weeks. Those days where I could already tell what would happen from the moment I woke up, those calm days when nothing amazing ever happened.

Day by day, time passed me by. Eating lunch with Tomoyo, sitting in class as the teacher droned, playing sports out on the field, everything was the same. Everything was grey and lifeless, simple and peaceful.

XX

Looking back on it, I see no reason for it to have ever happened. His desk was at a diagonal from mine. It was one up and one across but it was not really close enough that would call for him making conversation with me simply because I was a neighbour. We shared a few classes together but not many and neither of us were part of any kind of club.

He stood out with his blond hair and blue eyes. At first, my eyes would sometimes drift toward him and I would remember someone that I knew a long time ago but that was all that it was.

"Fai-kun! Wanna eat lunch together?"

I would sometimes hear one of those damn annoying girls asking him and, by the second week, I already knew all of his excuses.

"Sorry, I forgot my lunch money. Go on without me," he would hold up an apologetic hand and usher them out of the classroom.

"Hey, Fai-kun, there's this new shop opening, wanna check it out?" someone would offer but he would always wave them off and say with a grin, "I'm busy. Sorry! Another time, okay?"

I suppose that I would have wondered about it if I had cared. He seemed genuinely amiable and his friendly, approachable manner made him instantly popular yet he refused to socialise with anyone deeper than being just classmates. He waved them off and deflected them with sugar coated smiles so that no one could ever hate him. So that no one could ever get close enough to touch him.

Then, _that_ happened.

XX

Tomoyo had taken ill that day and, as the lunch bell sounded, I found that I could not be bothered to grab anything from the noisy canteen. I could only put up with the incessant chatter of mindless students when she was there to take my mind off of it.

As my stomach was beginning to growl, I was wondering if leaving the comfort of my desk would be worth grabbing a sandwich for when, lo and behold, one was offered to me in front of my face.

I picked myself off of my desk to stare at whatever kind of idiot wanted to give their lunch to me. One glance at that bright mop of blond hair told me all that I wanted to know.

I stared sceptically at the sandwich that he was offering, my eyes narrowing at the brightly coloured things peeking from between the bread.

"What the hell is that?" I felt the sudden need to ask.

That was only the beginning of my mistake.

"It's a gummi bear sandwich, what else?" he replied with the same obscene cheerfulness that carried him throughout the day.

"What?" I stared at him, wondering if people from wherever the hell he was from had diets that consisted of gelatine sweets.

His brow furrowed a little but he managed to keep his smile plastered to his face. "Who are you again?" he asked, laughing at his own forgetfulness.

"It's Kurogane!" I grumbled, though I was not surprised that he did not know my name. We never paid the other any special attention and, before that day, had never even spoken to each other.

He nodded knowingly, and shook the sandwich in front of my face. "Do you want a bite, Kuro-chi?"

My eyes widened as I looked at him incredulously.

"What the hell did you just call me?" I asked, my voice low and dangerous. I was sure to make him well aware that repeating such an offence would be fatal.

"Kuro-pin, do you want some?"

Obviously the transmission of thoughts did not work on those who did not actually think.

I stood so suddenly, my chair clattered to the floor. People turned to see what all the commotion was about but their gazes did not deter me from grabbing him by the collar, yanking him towards me as I snarled, "I hope that you're not attached to your legs because they're gonna be broken in a few seconds!"

He wriggled out of my grasp, looking particularly unaffected

"I also have chocolate apples, tabasco bars…" he rummaged through his pockets without paying me the slightest bit of attention.

"Listen - " I began to yell but found my mouth currently occupied with something else.

It was ridiculously sweet and tasted like bread and sugar. I stumbled away with a mouthful of gummi bear sandwich, which he had somehow managed to shove into my mouth.

"It's good, isn't it?" he said cheerfully, oblivious to the horrified stares of those around him.

I choked on my own anger and surprise. Torn between strangling the kid and spitting out the horrible filth in my mouth, I was paralysed. I did not know which one to do first, was not sure which one would give me the most sadistic pleasure.

Yet while I marvelled at his audacity, I didn't have the slightest clue to what was _really _going on in that evil mind of his. I didn't know that Fai had already targeted me as his latest victim.

* * *

And so ends the introductory chapter. The narration will stop jumping about by the second chapter. Damn Kurogane, can't you tell a story straight?


	2. Chapter 2

A long chapter this time. I keep forgetting the disclaimer but I don't thik it's necessary. We all know who TRC belongs to.

* * *

**Chapter two**

XX

Forgetting those horrifyingly embarrassing moments of yesterday, I left my house fully prepared for another peaceful day of school. I should have known, with him around even that would be too much to ask.

The cherry blossom petals that carpeted the way to school had turned into a disgusting brown mush under the feet of hundreds of students walking that way to school. It was funny, the cherry blossoms being a symbol of love and romance; everyone seemed to neglect the brown mush.

I walked through the soppy brown stuff; batting away petals that flew too close to me as cars passed down the other side of the road. I was early, I knew. I was always early. It beat having to push my way past crowds of school children and I always got a few minutes of peace and quiet to sit at my desk undisturbed. That was my routine. The early bird avoids the idiots.

Alas, I soon discovered that idiots could rise just as early as I could.

"Kuro-chi!"

I quickened my pace.

"Kuro-tan!"

That boy, that new transfer student, was following me like a lost kitten. Those obscene nicknames made me shudder but, in a remarkable display of tolerance, I decided only to torture him with toothpicks, _after_ classes were over. As I glanced back at him he beamed at me, waving a friendly hand in my direction. His smile just creeped me out and I walked on without saying a word of greeting.

Now if he had let me outstrip him, or if he had decided to walk ahead of me, I honestly think that things could have ended peacefully. I could have gone back to spending my days in tranquil boredom and he could have gone back to eating gummi bear sandwiches and promptly killing himself with sugar.

Yet he did neither of these things, only chose to follow _directly_ behind me as I continued on my merry way towards school.

"Quit following me!" I snapped back at him and walked ahead, not quite running but ready to do so if I had to.

"I'm not following you, we just happen to be going the same way," he quickened his steps and followed behind me, matching my pace perfectly.

"I highly doubt that!" I retorted.

"Well, we are both going to school."

I paused and then snapped, "Shut up!" quickly followed by, "stop walking right behind me!"

To my surprise, he did as ordered, quickening his pace so that he could outstrip me.

I should have known that it was too good to be true.

Instead of walking ahead of me, he then slowed down and came to walk besides me.

"Well, you said that I should stop walking behind you," he smiled sweetly.

Refusing to say anything to him, I walked even faster. He quickened his pace as well, pursuing me. He matched me every time I burst ahead. Without realising it, I walked faster and faster until I had burst into a run.

Yet that damn transfer student was not to be outdone. He ran with me, neck-and neck, along side each other, dashing past the school gates and hurtling through the corridors. The few students that were in school at these early hours only saw a trail of dust and smoke as we rocketed past them, hurling headlong towards our class.

"Kuro-chi must be a serious student!" I heard him cry over the thundering sounds that we made as we trampled through the corridors.

"Why are you following me?" I yelled back at him.

"I'm not! We just happen to be going the same way!"

My one success, my one victory against him, one that I constantly look back on with some tenderness, was that, at the very least, I reached the classroom first.

Hurling the door open, I slid inside, panting and wheezing as I wearily made it to the windows and slumped into my seat. The room was empty save for the two of us, and the hamster, of course. Many of the chairs were still propped on top of the tables and the chalkboard was clean.

"What the hell's your problem? Don't come near me!" I snapped at him as soon as I had caught my breath.

In response, he only grinned and made an absent comment about the time. "Looks like we're early," he observed and I felt the sudden urge to partake in round of very sarcastic clapping.

"Of course! We ran all the way here, didn't we?" I said irritably. I refrained from the clapping. There was no need to encourage him.

"Is that your desk?" Fai pointed at the place that I was sitting at.

_Urge…to…clap…rising. _

"No, this is Kobato's desk. I just decapitated her, dumped her body in the river and then altered everyone's memories so that everyone would think that I had always sat here."

"Huh?"

"Yes, this is my desk," I sighed. I honestly did not know how such idiocy could exist. Surely someone in a white coat would turn up to haul him to the nearest mental hospital soon. I _prayed_ that someone would haul him to the nearest mental hospital. My sanity was at stake.

I remember glancing at the clock and waiting but no one appeared.

A thankful silence washed over us but he abruptly shattered that as well when he sat on the opposite desk and said, in a perfectly understandable sentence; "Swap with me."

It took a while for me to comprehend what he had just said. I was still in shock that he had said something that had made sense.

Finally, I answered; "I'll swap with you, but only if you run to the tallest tower in the world, find a tramp, convince him to jump from it and then video tape his long plunge towards death"

In the language of Kurogane, that means 'no'.

Obviously this new student did not understand Kurogane speech for he seemed to take me literally. "The tallest tower in the world," he pondered. "Would that be Tokyo tower or the Eiffel tower?"

I once had a talk with the student councillor who was worried that bullies had inflicted the many bruises on my forehead. However, I must have convinced him that I was a masochist when I told him that these were self-inflicted wounds - self-inflicted wounds because the stupidity around me just…would…not…stop! For the love of God, why wasn't it stopping!

"Swap with me," he reiterated and I hit my head against my desk.

Self-inflicted wound number one.

"No way, I like this desk," I grumbled, rubbing my sore head.

"Then you can keep you pet desk, just swap places with me."

"I like my place too!" I growled, deciding for my own sake not to bring up his use of the words 'pet desk.'

"What's its name?" he suddenly asked and I thought that he was referring to my pet desk until I caught him looking at the class hamster.

"Huh? Hamu, I think."

"Hamu?" he tapped a finger against his lips, looking deeper in thought that I had ever seen him. "I think that he should be called Gertrude."

I was sorely tempted to hit my head again, I really was, but I decided to save it for a truly monumental piece of stupidity. Instead, I settled with watching him make his way over the Hamu's cage.

Our classroom was like that of any other classroom. Single desks stood in neat rows in front of the teacher's desk and the blackboard. The walls were white, perhaps to get us used to the hospital that we would all be shipped off to at some point in our lives, y'know, the one with cushioned walls. At the back was a row of cabinets on which the beloved class hamster had his cage.

Hamu was fat and stupid and did nothing but turn in its wheel for hours and hours but I believe that it did not deserve half of the torture that would be subjected to it over the next few months.

"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.

"Have a gummi bear, Gertrude," Fai said sweetly, pointedly ignoring my question.

"Don't feed it that junk!"

"Don't worry, it won't kill it!" he turned with a smile as sweet as the summer sun but I am sure, and I will vouch on this, that as he turned back to the hamster cage I heard him mutter, "unfortunately," under his breath.

XX

Ever since that momentous conversation, he continued to bother me for odd things, or would just annoy me with his existence. I can't remember every single act of stupidity he ever performed in school, to list them would be like trying to record the number of blinks per day, but here are the ones that distinctly stand out in my mind.

**#1 - Stealing other students' muffins in order to make a life-sized muffin man. **

This happened whilst I was eating with Tomoyo in the canteen one fine day. She was shocked to find that her muffin had mysteriously disappeared whilst neither of us were looking. However, a sharp shriek soon pointed us in the direction of the culprit and, sure enough, there was Fai, sculpting a muffin man with stolen muffins. He would have made a gingerbread house and the whole of damn Dreary lane if not for the teachers hauling him off to their office.

**#2 - Filling the school swimming pool with fish**

I know that he was the one who did this because he had asked me what kind of fish I liked the day before whilst making various 'nyaa' sounds. Fortunately, I never really enjoyed swimming classes. Unfortunately, some idiot had also let loose a sack of cats to prey upon the fish.

**#3 - Throwing clocks off of the school roof**

When caught and interrogated by the teachers, he simply grinned disarmingly and claimed that he wanted to see time fly. He was told to pay for all of the clocks that he broke. He never did.

Of course, for most of that time, he had sought to drag me along for the ride. Why me, I will never know, but in the following week since our fateful conversation, I was dragged, yanked and hauled this way and that all over the school grounds. I put up a fight, I can at least say that I tried, but no amount of threatening, shouting of just avoiding him seemed to make any difference and, at last, I surrendered with some of my dignity still in tact.

That, however, was just the first salvo in the war to rob me of my sanity.

"Kurogane, you look worn out," Tomoyo happily observed me as I slumped over my desk. It was strange that she should find so much joy in my mental exhaustion.

Raising my head from the desk, I groaned, "Of course I'm worn out, that idiot makes me worn out!"

"Who?"

"You know who!" I hit my fist against the desk. "That idiot transfer student!"

"Ooh, Fai-kun!" she snapped her fingers together. "I think that he'd look pretty in pink."

Sighing, I turned away from her to rub my aching temples. I had been getting a lot more headaches ever since that guy transferred here. "Is that all that you can think about?" I asked wearily but Tomoyo only looked at me slyly and commenced in one of her mad bouts of "Ohohohoho!"-ing

Some girls from the next class trespassed into ours in order to wave Tomoyo over whilst I, in my state of exhaustion, could do no more than listen and bury my head in my desk.

"Tomoyo-chan! Tomoyo-chan! I saw some boy hitting on your favourite!" one of the squealed excitedly. I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Whaaat? Sakura-chan's chastity is at stake? Excuse me, Kurogane, it's urgent!" Tomoyo raised hurriedly, taking out her baseball bat from her bag, which is strange because she was never part of the baseball club.

I sighed and leaned back against my chair. Sometimes, I forgot that Tomoyo had her own friends too, people other than me that she liked to hang around with. I glanced across the classroom at the small groups of students huddled together.

God, how I hated breaks.

I hated being cooped up with so many idiots. Even as I rested my head against the table and turned the other way so that I would not have to look at them, their presence still bothered me, the sound of their voices gave me an even worse headache.

I stood up again, feeling more irritable than normal. Usually when people left me alone I could shut out the voices and presence of others around me and that was peace, but for some reason I began to feel uneasy with that peace; restless and tense.

I had to get away to clear my head and there was only one place in that damnable school that could offer me such silence - the roof.

Clambering up the staircases, step after step, I finally reached the top and pushed the door to the roof open.

The wind hit me so suddenly that I flinched and walked forward blindly, not noticing that there was another figure on the roof until it was too late.

"Kuro-chan!"

As the wind died down, I opened my eyes fully. He turned towards me, the wind whipping strands of blond into his face. His tie was loose and the collar of his shirt was unbuttoned as if he felt that they restrained him. He grinned breathlessly, waving me over.

My first reaction was to turn right around again and walk back the way I had come but Fai caught me by the arm before I could escape, dragging me to the railings where I could see the rest of town from our high perch.

"Kuro-chan! Kuro-chan! Why are you here?" he pestered me like a child demanding to play. I shook him off of me, backing away at least three paces.

"I like it here," I replied brusquely, although if he was going to make a habit of coming here I thought that I would start to like this place a lot less.

He laughed and leaned his back against the railings, tilting his head up to drink the sky. "Don't you get lonely?" he asked me, staring upwards at the ocean of blue above.

"What about you? Why are you here?" I said sharply, not wanting some psycho transfer student probing into my personal life.

"I like high places," he replied blithely "Doesn't being up here make you just want to sing out loud at the top of your lungs?"

"No."

However, he was hardly paying any attention to me. His mind, or whatever there was of a mind, was somewhere else as he turned himself around to look out at the land sprawled below him. With a wild grin, he clambered over the railings and bellowed at the top of his lungs.

"Ooooh, Danny boooy! The pipes, the pipes are calliiiing!"

Might I add that he sounded really, really bad? Like a cat being run over by a tractor…repeatedly.

"Oooh, I believe I caaan fllllyyy!"

"You sound awful, shut up!"

He was leaning out on the ledge, one hand gripped to the railings. He leaned as far as he could go and bellowed words without a tune.

"I believe I caaan touch the skkkkyyy!"

He leaned out too far.

"Hey, watch it!" I yelled and lunged for him as his foot slipped from the ledge.

Even now I wonder what would have happened if I had not made it. If my hands did not grab hold of his wrists, if he had slipped from my grasp or if I had not been able to pull him to safety, what would have happened then? Probably nothing. Nothing would have happened because without Fai nothing would have started. Nothing would have changed.

"You idiot!" I yelled with a mix of anger and exhaustion as I hauled him over the railings. Both of us went flying across the roof, skidding into the floor were we lay for a minute, sprawled and sore, across the roof, panting breathlessly.

As I lay there I could feel just how fast my heart was racing. I lay almost paralysed, stunned that my heart was even capable of beating so fast. It was the first time in many years since I had felt shock or fear. It was the first time that I had ever felt anything other than irritation.

Yet close to me I heard not frantic breathing but tiny chuckles; small, amused snorts that suddenly blossomed into rounds of pealing laughter.

He was laughing. I stared, shocked, into the sky. He was laughing.

"That was fun!"

"Fun?" I looked at him incredulously. "You could have plunged to your death!" I yelled but he only laughed even louder.

I think that was when I finally figured it out. The reason why he always annoyed and irritated me was not solely because of his stupidity. It was not because he was obliviously cheerful or because he had no respect for my private space. Though all those reasons did irk me, they weren't the main reason why I tried my best to avoid him.

It was because he made me uneasy, and no one, not a single person in my life, had ever been capable of doing that.

He had a total disregard for his life. If I had not been there to catch him, he would have plunged to his death still laughing at the top of his lungs. He didn't care if he died or not. I could not understand whether everything was just deliriously fun to him that he could not tell when he was spinning close to oblivion or if he had just been desensitised to everything until there was no longer a sense of danger.

"Ah, fourth period's already started," he sat up as if nothing had happened and checked his watch. "Well, missing one class is no big deal," he looked at me wickedly. "Or are you the studious type?"

I gathered myself into a sitting position as well, hoping that I had the same composure as him. I tried not to dwell on this discovery. Thinking about only made me restless. "Not really. I'm just surprised to hear you suggest something like that."

I think that I did well at seeming disinterested.

"If we're cutting fourth period, we might as well go home."

"I don't feel like going home."

"Family problems?"

"Not really," I shrugged, though thoughts of a silent house, or awkward, uncomfortable pauses filled my mind. "My parents died…I live with foster parents now but it's still so awkward. I just feel uncomfortable around them. I don't want to trouble them."

"Sounds tough. My uncle lets me do whatever I want," he laughed a little then, though I was not sure if what he had just said was supposed to be funny. He flicked a strand of blond hair from his eyes and turned towards the sky.

Did you know that Fai's eyes are the perfect reflection of a cloudless sky? I don't know why I suddenly made that observation. It was just a random thought passing through my head that was all.

"You don't live with your mother and father?"

"Isn't it cooler this way?" he grinned, pulling his bag closer toward him.

I shrugged, hoping to disguise the fact that I was intrigued. It was a good thing that he had a short attention span, and so he never seemed focused on me for long enough to know anything more than what I would allow him to know about me.

At least, that was what I thought at the time. It was not until later that I would discover just how astute he really was.

Fai had pulled out another one of those crazy sandwiches from his bag. Out of pure curiosity, I peeked at the red stuff oozing out between the two sides of white bread and wondered, was that…Tabasco sauce?

"How can you eat that stuff?" I looked at him, disgusted. It didn't smell like ketchup, though I would think of him as no less of a freak had he been eating ketchup sauce with bread. The sandwich had that tangy, acrid scent of hot spices that could only be some sort of chilli sauce.

"Don't you want to try?" he asked with a mouthful of bread and Tabasco sauce. At least, I'm sure that it was Tabasco sauce.

I recoiled, scooting away from him lest he try the same trick that he had done with the gummi bear sandwich.

"Oh don't be like that! If the hamster won't die after a whole bottle of this stuff, neither will you!"

As you may have guessed, I hardly found that very reassuring.

I looked at him oddly, wondering just what our class hamster had done to deserve the undivided attention of Fai's punishments. "What the hell were you doing giving Tabasco sauce to a hamster?" I asked him sternly. Surely someone should lock him up for animal cruelty. "Leave the hamster alone."

Scratch that, someone should just lock him up, period.

He stood up as if a bolt of lightning had shot down his spine. His sudden movement made me cry out in surprise. I leaned back, propping myself up on my elbows in order to stare, horrified, as Fai snapped his fingers at me.

"Okay, then you can be my pet!" he grinned and from the look in his eyes I knew that it was already decided.

* * *

And so Kurogane's torture begins in all its glory. If anyone noticed that Kurogane occasionally slips into referring to Fai by his name instead of 'that guy' or 'him' that's entirely intentional.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a long time but I finally updated. Sorry for the wait.

**

* * *

Chapter three**

XX

I managed to avoid everyone, including a certain crazy freak, by leaving for school at an ungodly hour. Even as I reached the school, it was filled with only a handful of staff. The floors still smelt of polish and the classrooms were so disgustingly clean that I hardly recognised where I was.

"You're here early. Becoming a serious student, are you?" one of the teachers ginned at me as I passed him. I shrugged and said nothing. Me, a serious student? I doubted that that would ever happen.

Voices carried further than they usually did when the corridors were packed with chattering students. I passed one of the staff rooms on my way to class but the brief strings of conversation within made me pause and listen.

"I see that new transfer student is doing well."

"Oh, you mean Fai-kun Yes, I admit that I was rather worried considering his record," a woman replied.

I don't know why I stopped and listened when I heard mention of his name. He was crazy and different and liked to lavish me with his own band of torture but it was not as if I was intrigued by him. It was not as if I wanted to know just why he acted the way he did.

I suddenly remembered how he laughed after he had almost fallen from the school roof. There was no explaining it, but that moment always came back to me.

"Does his family move a lot perhaps?" a voice, distinctly male, but light and soft, asked his female colleague.

A chair squeaked as it turned. I remembered the last time I eavesdropped on someone else's conversation. It had not gone well at all.

"As far as I know, he's been living with his uncle in the same house for over ten years but he's never stayed at one school for more than two years or so. The funny thing is, he wasn't kicked out of his schools."

There was sound of movement. Coffee or tea was poured into a mug and papers were shuffled. I listened intently but I was a while before the man spoke again and all he said was; "There was probably some trouble that wasn't recorded down," and changed the subject to other, trivial things such as surprise pop quizzes and bitching about his students.

I wanted to know more. Fai transferred a ot? Why? I lingered by the door until I realised just how stupid I must look hanging around a half-open door, listening to teachers talk. With a shake of my head, I resumed my initial course towards my classroom, hoping that I would have time for a quick nap before all the students came rushing in like flocks of mindless sheep. Though the place was barely recognisable in its litter-free state, I managed to wander in the right direction.

Fortunately for me, Gertrude – I mean, Hamu – was there in his wheel to tell me that I had gotten the right classroom. The blackboard was still clean and the chairs stacked on top of the desks in neat rows. I opened the windows in hope of getting rid of the smell of polish and sat at my desk completely bored.

It's amazing how one notices the tiniest tings when there is nothing to do. Hamu's wheel, for instance, squeaks on every third rotation and there are exactly sixty-two square tiles on the ceiling.

Footsteps also echo very loudly on newly polished floors. It took a moment for me to realise this before I froze. Turning towards the open door with dread, I wondered…would he? No, he would no possibly.

"Oh, hello."

"Y – you! What the hell are you doing here, you crazy stalker?"

Yes, it was him, the one who had become the bane of my existence ever since he had transferred into my class. Closing the door, the moment that he saw me he flashed a smile and approached my isolated desk. There was no keeping him back.

"I've been here for ages. What about you, Kuro-chi?"

"I - I just - " I stuttered, ignoring the blatant butchering of my name.

"Oh, that reminds me!" He slammed his bag on my desk, making the muscles in my face twitch. That was my desk damn it, and usually anybody that had the audacity to slam their bag on my desk were thrown out of the window.

However, Fai was already rummaging through his bag. Something red and shiny caught my eye as he pulled it out, presenting it to me with pride.

"Ta-da! It's a dog collar! Isn't it cute?" he grinned.

I did not even have to ask why he had a dog collar with him. I did not even have to wonder if he had a pet dog or not. I already knew what it was for but still, I almost chocked at the very thought of it.

"I'm not putting that thing on!"

"But it's totally you, Kuro-chan!"

"Go to hell!" I yelled as I backed away.

I should have known that he was not about to let me go that easily. However, I never dreamed that he would actually _pounce _on me. What was he, a freaking cat? I have since learned to never put anything past him.

As his body collided into mine, I grabbed hold of the nearest desk as I fell, causing chairs to come crashing around us. A small part of me admired just how dangerous this really was but a bigger part of me was only interested in getting this molesting, mental patient off of me.

"I said no!" I growled, kicking him off. More chairs clattered off of their desks as he dumped into them when he stumbled back.

The classroom door flew open.

"Hey, you kids! What the hell are you doing?" an enraged teacher bellowed at us but his colleague looked delightedly surprised.

As I was hauled to my feet, I glanced at Hamu's cage, feeling for the first time a common bond with the stupid little creature that was never there before. We were both unlucky enough to earn Fai's attention.

XX

"This is all your fault," I grumbled at him as we were forced after class to clean up the room. It was bad enough being forced together with him but to be made to clean the class with him? Teachers found new ways to torture their students all of the time.

Fai's broom swished across the floor, sweeping the dust in unproductive circles even though he was staring intently at his work.

"Kuro-tan was the one making a ruckus," he said absently, staring at the dust on the floor as if he could not quite figure out why it was not disappearing.

Some girls dropped by. They lingered at the door without entering. I recognised only one – Yuzuriha – and that was only because she was part of the student council.

"Fai-kun! Are you coming?" she waved.

I had no idea that he was acquainted with people from other classes. Of course, everybody seemed to know every one else in this damn school so why was I surprised? It was only me who had no clue who was who.

He hesitated and then replied, "Sure! You can handle this, can't you, Kuro-rin?" he shoved the broom into my hands and made for the door.

"No way! You're staying here!" I grabbed his collar before he could run away, almost choking him in the process.

He flashed me a sly smile. "Oh, can't a big, strong guy like you clean a classroom by himself?" he drawled, amused by something that was probably not funny at all.

I knew what he was up to. However, I was not going to let him ditch all the work on me.

"It's not a matter of if I can or can't."

"Your friend can come too!" Yuzuriha called.

"How about it, Kuro-pi? Let's go have some fun," he grinned, grabbing my arm.

"No."

"But - "

I sighed. These eyes watching us, this useless conversation made me even more irritable. In the end, Fai was just like everyone else, enjoying life the way a normal person would, surrounded with people he could connect with and without a care in the world for other people. He could go if he wanted. Let him go and become another faceless person that I knew nothing about.

"You go on ahead. I'll stay here," I snapped.

"Okay then!" he yipped and pounced away.

To say that I was not diappointed would be a lie but lifegoes on, dosn't it? So I started to sweep the floor.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he had not even exited the room before he came crawling back to me.

"Cleaning," I grunted.

I could feel his eyes burning my back but I was adamant in not looking at him. Even though I wanted to know what he was searching for, what he was thinking as he looked at me, I did not even return his gaze.

"Fine," he muttered, taking the broom out of my hands. He turned to the girls waiting at the door, shouting; "Sorry! Duty calls!"

Fai was so terrible at cleaning that it took us twice as long to finish, not mentioning the brief intermission we had when he suddenly was struck by the idea that Hamu would make a fine sponge.

After I managed to drag him away from the poor hamster's cage, he pouted and began sweeping up a mess even more vigorously. His sudden devotion to his task caused a rare silence to fall over us but even that did not last for long.

"You know, the cultural fest is coming up soon," he suddenly spoke.

"So?"

"Let's submit something."

"If you want to do something, you have to do it as a class or a club," I pointed out but a silly, minor little detail like that could not deter him.

"So? Let's try anyway!' he insisted.

At that time, I don't know how I managed to worm my way out of this particular scheme. However, I felt a certain triumph at being able to walk out of the classroom first. It was almost too good to be true.

XX

With everything that had been going on at school, I was never more relieved when Saturday finally came. Saturdays were my time to relax and be by myself without anyone else around, without any idiots from class annoying me with their gossip.

That was why I was surprised when I received a visitor.

"Kurogane! Someone's at the door for you!"

I came down the stairs as my foster mother called me. As confused as she was, she left me alone to face this unexpected guest on my own. I really wish that she didn't because, as I opened the door, it was him.

"Hello!"

I slammed the door shut. At least, I tried to if not for a certain someone's foot getting in the way.

"Aww, is that any way to greet a guest?" Fai grabbed the door and tried to pry I open. His voice was just as cheerful as usual.

I battled with the door, trying to force it close whilst he tried to keep it open.

"I knew it! You really do stalk me!"

"No! Tomoyo-chan gave me your address!"

I looked at him incredulously. Then again, I would not have put it pass her to do such a thing. I could just imagine her laughing and saying 'Ohoho! There you go, have fun!' as she gave away the location to my only sanctuary without a second thought.

"Don't make me place you under a restraining order!" I threatened.

"Kurogane? Is something the matter?" a voice, my foster mother's voice, called from the next room.

Distracted for a moment, Fai managed to grab me and pull me out of the house.

"Gotcha!" he cried triumphantly. "You're coming with me!"

It was a small blessing that I was decently dressed. I think that he would have hauled me outside even if I were wearing nothing but my boxers. He dragged me through town, down the familiar streets of my neighbourhood and towards the market square.

"So?" I allowed him to lead me past brightly coloured stalls and large, open shops. "What was the point of dragging me here on a Saturday?"

He grinned and relinquished his grip only so that he could point a finger squarely at me. "You will assist me in my plans for world domination!"

"What?"

"In other words, I want you to help me advertise for my stall."

"Your stall?" I looked at him even more confused.

"For the cultural fest of course!" he took hold of my arm again and led me through the market.

No matter how much I protested, it was useless. Skulls as dense as his only process words at a rate one hundred times slower than the average human.

Fai's idea of help was a series of complex and rather intricate advertising schemes which were all basically me making a fool of myself at the core. Knowing that I wasn't getting paid didn't make anything better. The humiliation that I was subjected to still haunts me to this day, so much so that I may remain in counselling for the rest of my life.

He dragged me all over town that day, handing out leaflets with dog ears on my head until he decided that a full-body dog suit would be more effective. When I refused, he made me participate in a local clown competition, which I most spectacularly lost by the way.

We almost got into several fights with people who told us we were being too loud as Fai bellowed to come to the cultural fest at the top of his voice. He even set fireworks and crackers off in broad daylight and wondered why people were running and ducking for their lives.

By the time, he was finally satisfied that we had done enough to put our pictures right next to the dictionary definition of 'fool' it was already late evening. It startled me how time had flown by. I was so used to days that dragged on into the next that I had never imagined that it could get so late so fast.

We stopped by the river that wound its way through town, close the bridge that connected the banks. The water was amazingly quiet, sparkling as the sun hit its surface.

"Maybe we should take a break," he suggested, sliding down the river bank. I followed shortly after and sat next to him as the sun was going down over the river.

It was so quiet; I wondered where all the traffic and people had gone. When I was little, I used to like to pretend that I was the only one in the world but here I was straddled with an over-active transfer student, not that it was particularly terrible either. It was odd. I could not remember the last time I ever spent time with someone else like this, doing nothing meaningful or particularly exciting but enjoying it anyway.

"I brought lunch," he swung his bag in front of my face.

"I think I'll pass," I grimaced at his so called 'lunch.' The usual Tabasco sandwiches were there with chocolate covered sushi and what I think was sauerkraut rice balls and almond flavoured milk.

Watching him eat made me shudder. His stomach must have built up an amazing tolerance to such weird food. Was it his strange personality that attracted people to him? Did he decide to come for me today because I had the capacity to tolerate his crap or was I just another sucker for hm to use?

"Tired?" he asked, as if I was not already stretching out my tired limbs and groaning about how my legs were aching.

"Just being _around_ you is tiring," I sighed. "Do you really have to be so active all of the time?"

"I want to," he smiled, turning to face the water that reflected the setting sun. "Be proud, you're the only one who's been able to keep up this far."

"Is this like some kind of freaky initiation challenge?" I looked at him warily. He needed to know, if this was some weird rite of passage, his efforts were wasted.

He simply shrugged, still staring at the motionless water. "I hate having to slow down for other people."

Come to think of it, I really should have asked him what he meant. I should have pinned him down and forced answers out of him. If I had just done that instead of letting him laugh it off and leave, maybe everything would have been so much easier.

* * *

This makes it four more chapters to go. It was always planned to be short.I think I can start a countdown now,


	4. Chapter 4

Another chapter that took way longer than expected to finish but its done now.

* * *

Chapter four

XX

That following week, he never came into school. You know whom I'm talking about, that new transfer kid that was not so new anymore decided not to show, even as the dates to the cultural fest loomed ever closer.

His desk remained empty throughout the following week as well. I tried not to glance at it too much whenever I was in class and outlawed all thoughts of him from my mind.

"Fai-kun's address? No, I never asked and he never told me."

That was the answer that I always received when I decided to take matters into my own hands. It was not that I was particularly worried, no; I just found his empty seat a little too distracting. Getting his address proved tougher than I had expected though, I mean the guy could get along with everyone and no one knew his address or even his phone number?

Now that I thought about it, who did he spend time with other than me?

"Yuzuriha!"

"No, I don't know Fai-kun's address," she said before I could even ask her. I had even been glad o find her in the corridors by chance but she had completely shot down my hopes before I could even voice them.

"How did you…"

She smiled knowingly. "People have been saying that this big, dark guy has been going around classroom's asking for Fai-kun's address. Are you trying to stalk him?" she laughed.

I reddened, shouting, "I'm not trying to stalk anyone!"

"Ah, Kurogane-san, I heard that you were trying to stalk Fai-san."

I am glad that I am only a semi-violent person. Had been slightly more annoyed and a lot more deranged, I probably would have hit the one accusing me of being such a low-life loser. That would have given me about a month's worth of detention, or perhaps just three hours standing in the hall with a bucket of water on my head, since the one accusing me turned out to be some teacher.

"Here," he placed a post-it note in my hand before promptly shoving a stack of papers into my arms. "Fai-san has called in sick but he has missed a considerable amount of school. Would you please deliver these to him?"

He was sick? What did that mean? Did he have some kind of crippling disease? Had he been in a serious accident? No, I wasn't worried about that, not at all.

Before I could even give my consent, it was already a settled matter and so to Fai's house I would go.

XX

I went to his place as soon as school was over, following the very badly written and hardly intelligible directions written on the post-it note. I always wondered, since I went to a public school and since most public schools were horribly short of staff, if the board liked pulling random people of the street to teach. I imagined their recruiting campaign would be something like this;

"_Hey, would you like a teaching job?"_

"_B - But I'm a tramp."_

"_Don't worry, we'll get you cleaned up and they'll never know."_

"_Can I take my beans with me?"_

"_Of course! Why, we'll even pay you in beans!" _

This would also explain why public schools are also strapped for cash, because beans happen to be very expensive unless bought in bulk, but I digress.

There was nothing unusual about Fai's house, not that I was expecting fireworks or giant clocks. It was just a normal house, a little on the plain side, with peeling paint and a whitewashed door and a front garden that was reasonably well kept.

I struck the bell twice and stepped back, hearing noise within.

"Yes?"

"Uh…" for a moment I was not sure what to say. It was not as if I had daily practice with talking to people I did not know but this was not hard so I introduced myself and hoped that things would flow from there.

"I'm Kurogane. I'm a classmate of Fai's."

"Oh."

They did not.

After approximately one minute and thirty-two seconds of silence, I cleared my throat.

"I was told to pass these onto him," I showed him the pile of paper.

His uncle looked at the homework sheets curiously but did not accept them from me. "I see," he said.

I could feel my eyebrow twitching. Inside, my mind was shouting at him to invite me in or something. That was the normal thing to do.

"_Oh, are you a friend of Fai-chan's? Please, come in!'_

"_No, that's alright, I'm just here to deliver some work so that he doesn't fall behind."_

"_My, how sweet of you! Please come in! I'll make some tea."_

_That _was how I always figured calling on someone in these circumstances would go.

I cleared my throat again. At this, he finally seemed to get the hint. "Oh! Would you like to see him?" he finally opened the door wide enough to allow me entrance.

About damn time, I thought but I decided against being kicked out of the house I had only just been able to enter.

"Yeah, I don't mind," I shrugged as I stepped in.

"He's upstairs. First room on the right."

I nodded and ran up the long flight. Everything about the house was absolutely ordinary, perhaps a little too ordinary. It made me suspicious. It was not too clean but neither was it a total pig-sty either. The decorations along the passageway were generic paintings of far-away landscapes and the doors were normal too. I had to be on my guard.

I remembered that the teacher had said that he was sick... How sick was he? What did he have that could possibly keep him from school for weeks? More importantly, what kind of state would I find him in? As humiliating as it was, perhaps I was slightly worried after all.

The first room on the right belonged to him.

"Fai?" I gently rapped my knuckles against his door. There was no answer. I knocked again. "Hey, idiot, it's me. I'm coming in, okay?" he spoke loudly and carefully opened his door.

His room was a mess. Clothes and brightly coloured pieces of paper lay strewed amongst the room. I think a bed and a desk lay somewhere in that jungle but there were pillows and sweet wrappers and about a thousand blankets that I could hardly tell.

Fai sat in front of the television, the only thing that was not buried under junk, surrounded by snacks and pillows, playing some game that I had never even heard of.

"Hmm? Oh, Kuro-chan!" he waved at me, a bright and cheery as the summer sun and totally healthy.

"Y – You!" I was too shocked to speak properly. I had expected to see him lying in bed with a fever or something, not lolling about idly plying games and eating enough gummi bears to start his own private army.

Grabbing the closest pillow, I threw it at him, glad when it hit his head and bounced off.

Fai swept the pillow into a corner. A bright 'Game over' sign flashed on the screen. "What was that for? Don't randomly attack people!" he cried.

"Maybe if I hit your head a few times it would finally reboot!" I growled and dumped the large pile of paper in front of him. Fai's eyes stared at the mass of work as if he had never seen homework in his life, as if he had forgotten just what homework was. However, I was not going to let him go without finding the cause for his absence. "Why aren't you in school? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Fai pulled himself into a sitting position, facing me squarely across the jumbled mess of his room. "Nothing. I just decided to skip a few weeks," was all the explanation he gave.

"A few _weeks_?" I stared at him incredulously. "What for?"

"No reason."

"What about the cultural fest? You dragged me all over town just to prepare for it, remember?"

"Hmm? Oh, I don't care about that anymore," he shrugged.

"Fuck!" I shouted. I could hardly believe it. Surely even this level of selfishness was beyond him.

So, all that time that I had been dragged around town, that time spent making a fool of myself, that was all for nothing? He just did what he felt like, went with his whims, without regard for the feelings or conveniences of others. My anger boiled up and overflowed.

"What's wrong, Kuro-chi?"

"Nothing," I said tersely, trying and failing to keep my anger at bay. "I just realised how stupid I was for ever getting involved with someone like you!"

"What do you mean? Kuro-pin?" Fai looked slightly worried. Good, I thought. It served him right for being a complete ass of an idiot all the time.

"I'm going home!" I slammed his door behind my as I stormed out. A minute later, I thought better of it and poked my head into his room again. "And my name is Kurogane!" I yelled, and this time I _really_ slammed the door shut.

XX

He turned up later in the week. He had all the work completed and correct.

Things between us were tenser than usual and the whole class felt it. It seemed as if there was a heavy, oppressive silence over the class that had not been there before whenever I caught heard him speak or caught sight of him in the corner of my eye.

I went back to how things used to be before he had ever transferred into this stupid class, spending a quarter of my time with Tomoyo whenever she was free and he rest alone. I never realised until it seemed like I was spending forever by myself how much time that idiot took up. I had never noticed it before.

He, however, had found a new plaything in the form of a little, blonde underclassman that followed him blindly wherever he went and that was even worse. I had never wanted to admit it but it made me realise that I had been flattering myself before. Fai never chose me because I was anyone different or special or that I had an amazing capacity to put up with his crap. I just happened to be there, that was all, it could have been anyone. I didn't have to be me.

* * *

Oh God, he's angsting! Ah, he'll get over it. People have been asking me if this fic is set in Japan since there's no school on Saturday. The setting is a pretty generic modern day world but I guess they don't have school on Saturdays where they are. 


	5. Chapter 5

The end looms ever closer, but for now please enjoy.

* * *

Chapter five

XX

Our so-called 'fight' lasted into the very next week. It was more of a one-sided thing as I was the only one really angry. Fai, the bastard, had taken it all in his stride and simply found a new plaything.

He still would chat to the other students as if I was not standing in the corner glaring at him, and he would still smile and wave when he glanced my way. Everything in school was the same - the boring days, the stupid students, and the even stupider teachers. Everything was how it had been, everything, except for my daily rounds of Fai-branded torture.

That was a strange thing to miss.

I began to wonder, did days usually last this long? Were things always this dead and silent? Even Gertrude seemed a little dispirited. No, I steeled myself to the task of being just as indifferent as he was! After all, my life was so much better now that I did not have to deal with that whacked-out transfer student.

The bell rang for break. Fai left and I decided to sleep away this pointless time.

"Kurogane," Tomoyo looked at me worriedly, "what happened between you and Fai-kun?" she asked and glanced at the empty seat where he sat.

I ran a tired hand through my hair. This day had been going on long enough without Tomoyo asking me questions like that. "Nothing. He's hanging out with some underclassman now," I shrugged.

"Why?" Her look of concern transformed for a split-second into one of joy. "Apart from the fact that the underclassmen in this school are so cute!" she squealed. I knew that she was probably thinking about that girl in the year below us that she admired so much.

"Beats me," I opted for a minimalist answer. The attraction towards underclassmen was lost on me. They were all annoying little smurfs.

In order to stop her from continuing this inquisition, I excused myself from the room, heading for one place where I could find peace and quiet – the roof.

"I think that Chi would look absolutely cute in one of the uniforms from Momokuri academy. Their uniforms are so unique!"

Fai's voice. My hand froze just as it touched the cold handle leading to the roof outside. He was outside. Out there on the roof with his new toy. I stood, rendered immobile.

"But Chi thinks uniform is cute too."

Frowning, I let my grip slip from the handle. Fai had taken my one peaceful place but I was not going to go up there and fight him for it. I turned around and walked back down the stairs.

XX

The day was finally ending. It had dragged on for far too long and felt like an eternity spent in the same class. Thankfully, my last lesson was one that I did not share with that idiotic clown and so I managed to waste my time in an efficient manner, which including doing everything except thinking about him.

As the bell rang, there was a mad scuffle to get to the door. I lagged behind, wishing no bodily harm to come to me for trying to risk exiting first.

"And remember, I expect your essays to be at least a thousand words long!" the teacher yelled as students piled out of the room like rats from a sinking ship.

By the time I reached the gates, most of the school had already passed them. I wished that Fai had already left as well since I was in no mood to see him, much less even speak to him.

Knowing my luck, that was not to be.

Someone up there must really, really hate me.

I caught a wisp of blond hiding behind the school walls as I passed through the iron gates. Sure enough, there stood Fai, in all his irritating, mind-numbingly stupid glory, leaning against the wall with a small smile playing upon his lips.

"Were you waiting for me?" I was compelled to ask him. He grinned.

Knowing that I had broken my oath of silence, I decided to make up for it by blatantly ignoring him the rest of the way home - a task easier said than done.

Fai hopped around me, trying to get a glance at my face by shoving his in my personal space. He followed me as I walked away, sometimes walking ahead, sometimes trailing behind my steps.

"You've been avoiding me!" he chirped in that annoyingly cheerful, sing-song manner that always grated my nerves. I said nothing, just kept on walking.

When he saw that he was not getting a response, he tried to provoke me into replying.

"I upset, you didn't I? Why are you such a grumpy doggy?" he spoke as though everything between the two of us was absolutely fine. No, I was not fighting with him and no, he was not mentally retarded; that had all been a wonderful dream. "Hey, come with me to the cultural fest. It's boring if it's just Chi and me. We could go with Tomoyo!" he snapped his fingers at his magnificent idea.

"I thought that you didn't care about it anymore," I glared at him from the corner of my eye.

My pace quickened but he managed to match my steps no matter what I did. There was no losing him.

"I changed my mind," he shrugged.

There it was agin. That nonchalant attitude that reminded me too much of my insignificance. It irritated me. If I was so unimportant, if he could so easily find other play-things, why did he incessantly insist on torturing me?

"See? This is exactly what pisses me off about you!" I burst into a rant. My words were as rapid as my heartbeat, flowing out of my mouth before I had time to check them. They simply spilled into angry sound. "You do exactly what you want when you want to without a single care for anyone else!" I yelled, "you never care about what the other person might want! I bet you don't even think about the other person as anything other than a tool for your own amusement!"

There was a silence for a long time but I could observe his face. He was straining to keep it cheerful and calm.

I was not sure if he would cry or hit me. I was fully prepared for both. He did neither.

"I'll see you there then!" he grinned with renewed cheerfulness. His rate of recovery was phenomenal. Laughing, he ran before I could protest.

There he went again, making his own plans, not caring about the feelings of others. However, I was fully determined to stay at home.

XX

The day of the dreaded cultural fest came about at a frightening pace. Fortunately, I fully intended to spend that worthless evening at home.

"Remind me why I'm here again," I sighed, sure that this was the last place in the world that I wanted to be.

"Silly, Kurogane, you're here to have some fun!" Tomoyo clapper her hands together, grinning with devilish glee. She was the one responsible for this. She was the one who had purposefully dragged me from my comfortable home to attend this pointless event.

"I'd have more fun at home staring at a wall," I grumbled, reluctantly following her as she dragged me past the stalls lined in long rows across the field. At least I had one thing to be grateful of. At least I was not with Fai.

There were too many people and they all seemed to want to get in my way. The sound of fake guns exploded somewhere to my right and a bell was being rung to my left. There were too many noises and too many people.

"Do you have to be so cynical about everything?" she sighed. "What do you want to eat? Hotdogs? Meatballs? Roasted chestnuts?"

I wrinkled my nose at the thought of roasted nuts. It was just as bad as the crap that Fai would probably be eating. "I'm not hungry," I said, realising that I had broken my own rules by thinking about that maniacal idiot.

The sky seemed to darken by the minute and with the dying light the air grew colder and colder yet groups of people passed me as if they were unaware of the dropping temperature. Why had everyone attended this stupid festival?

Tomoyo glanced around the brightly coloured, crowded stalls, then pointed into the heart of the crowd. "I'm going to buy some candy floss. You can wander around for a while if you want. I'll buy your share too!" she waved as she ran off.

"Don't you dare!" I shot but she had already disappeared behind a group of people.

I stood like an absolute idiot near the hotdog stand for exactly twelve minutes and thirty-six seconds. As gaggles of schoolgirls passed me on their giggling way, I was beginning to suspect that Tomoyo might have run into that underclassman that she liked to stalk. The name was lost on me for a moment.

I decided to leave the noise and chatter that came with the stalls in favour of the open field where the fireworks would be set off, hoping to find some peace and quiet. Yet I was out of luck. Beyond the lines of stalls, the open gravel of the school field was littered with couples waiting for the fireworks to be ready. I wanted to gag. This was why I hated events like these.

Yet as I surveyed the grounds, I spotted one silhouette completely alone, sitting far away from everyone else. At that time, I thought 'now that person has the right idea' but, as I looked closer I realised that I knew that figure sitting alone.

I stood still, staring at him for a moment. Then, without knowing why I did so, I walked forwards.

"Well, this is rare," I muttered as I approached him from behind. He did not turn or start even when I stood besides him.

Neither of us made eye contact. I kept my gaze stubbornly fixed on the bonfire that they were building in the middle of the field and he stared at the darkening sky, his lips tightly pursed. I could have been completely invisible for all the attention that he showed.

"Fine, don't talk to me," I muttered.

Fai kept looking at the sky; his blue eyes fixed on something jut beyond the clouds. "What do you mean by 'this is rare'?" he asked.

After such silence, his voice sounded unusually terse. The sound of people working on the field was a distant noise that melted into the background. It was like hearing someone call for you under water. Everything was muffled and blurred.

I did not sit besides him. I had no intention of sticking around someone who used people like toys but I at least gave him an answer.

"Usually you're always with someone. I don't get why you would want to be alone in a place like this when you could so easily be having fun with anyone here," I explained.

A smile curled around his lips. He even laughed a little.

"Don't you like being alone?" he asked.

I hate to admit it, but he rubbed a sore spot there, which is why I replied in a snappier manner than usual. "I was talking about you, you idiot, not me!"

"I don't care if I'm alone or not as long as I'm having fun," he shrugged.

"You don't look like you're having much fun to me," I commented. It was just a casual observation on my account but it seemed that both of us would be picking at each other's wounds that evening.

Fai immediately caught my eyes in his gaze and grinned with his usual, insane exuberance. "That's not true! I was having a very fun daydream! I was a pirate and I had this magical ship and - "

"Well, if you don't mind being alone, I'm going," I sharply interrupted him before he could take me with him on his magical journey through dreamland.

"Fine." Fai's voice was perfectly clear over the sound of teachers were yelling at some students to be careful with the fireworks. "People only slow you down anyway."

Someone threw a match into the bonfire and it exploded into flames with a roar that spread warm light across the field. I winced at the sudden light that threw our shadows across the floor.

I had the feeling that Fai had said something like that before but at that time I could not remember anything. Maybe it was the whole festive atmosphere that had decidedly skewered my brains cells, but I was unable to really think back to anything. It was as if someone had taken my past and erased it, leaving only this moment.

As the flames danced, the light shifted across our faces. One minute I could see all of Fai's expression, the next, his eyes would be completely covered in shadow. I sincerely hope that I was not staring at him, but if I was, I must say in my defence that it was only because the light made it hard to see anything else.

"I thought that you were going," he said, a little too sharply for my liking.

"What's your problem?" I yelled but it seemed that he had caught on to the sharpness of his tone and immediately corrected it. As he said, "It's a secret!" his voice had returned to its normal, teasing manner.

However, I was in no mood to be teased.

"Tell me!" I insisted.

"Don't wanna!" he poked his tongue out, purposely acting like the child that he was.

"Tell me!"

Fai shook his head. "Nope!"

Frustrated, and pretty damn sure that I must have better things to do than this, I dropped besides him and pinned his wrist to the floor with a hand. "Tell me!" I demanded, stronger this time, more aggressive. He leaned away but I moved closer. Even the shadows could not take away the startled look in his eyes.

Then, the sky began to wail, shrieking high-pitched screams that reached the clouds, and the dark evening exploded with fireworks.

* * *

I cut this chapter in half and decided to leave it like this for now since Fai's revelation/back-story is better left out for now. That means this fic will probably go on for one chapter longer than expected., plus you're left with a cliffhanger. It's win-win!


	6. Chapter 6

I'm back again. Changed the summery to reflect the changes in mood of this fic.

* * *

Chapter six

XX

It sounded as if we were in the middle of a war. We were, so to speak; a private war between Fai and myself, contending for answers. The evening smelt of smoke and powders wafting away on the eastern wind.

I waited, carefully watching the pensive expression that had overcome Fai's face. He seemed so wrapped up in his thoughts that he was not even aware of it.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked at length

The fireworks exploded in a shower of coloured light, their embers drifting back to earth in a rain of sparks. They crackled and boomed and shrieked across the sky, throwing coloured light upon us.

"Just tell me! Why do people slow you down?"

"You're being strangely curious," Fai showed just as much stubbornness as I did.

His face was cast in dark blue light and his eyes were oddly sparkling. I stared at him, almost entranced for a moment before I remembered that it was my cue to retort and so I snapped, "And you're being an idiot! Why can't you just tell me?"

"Tell yourself!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"You saw my uncle, didn't you?" he asked lightly, as if he were merely commenting on the display. His tone changed so suddenly that I was caught off-guard. His reply had come quicker than I imagined.

I nodded and wondered what the hell that had to do with anything.

As more fireworks ascended, they exploded with a bang that resounded across the world. Were they the sirens of help that Fai could not bring himself to ask for? They were signal flares, lights of hope spontaneously sparking in this perpetual night.

"I live with him now because my mother is overseas working," he spoke slowly, as if each and every syllable had to been wrenched from his reluctant lips. "Back when I was little, my family hardly had any money so my dad used to work two jobs in order to make ends meet. He never went for drinks with friends because he was always working and he hardly spent any time at home."

I stayed silent; ignoring the dancing figures around the bonfire in favour of keeping my gaze fixed on him. He spoke quicker now, more smoothly.

"We had a really mean grandma but when she got sick he travelled for miles just to be with her. He was the kind of guy who couldn't say no so his colleagues at work were always asking him for help. He worked a lot and never bought unnecessary things even if he really wanted them, always helped other people even if he had things he would rather be doing, never splurged or pampered himself because his family always came first."

"Sounds like a great person," I murmured.

"He died," Fai whispered. Music began to play around the bonfire. Strings of a traditional folk piece reached our isolated ears - happy music that seemed to mock us.

I looked at him cautiously but the damned darkness made it impossible to discern his expression.

His voice sounded in the darkness. It did not sound like his usual, playful voice. I could not quite put my finger on it. It was a strong, sure voice that could shatter under the barest breath of wind.

"He worked so hard and did so many things that he didn't want to do, that he hated doing, just to die. In the end, most of the money he had saved went towards his funeral but the only people that showed up apart from my mother and me were a few colleagues from work who could spare the time. His life was nothing but a boring routine of obligations and duties. He never really got to enjoy life." Fai paused. He breathed the smoky air deeply, his story at an end.

A single firework tore its way through the sky, disappearing in a blaze. The last of its light illuminated his face and I caught a glimpse of sadness in that single moment before the darkness settled in.

"It's funny, isn't it?" the darkness moved. "It's a really funny story."

"I don't think that there's anything funny about it at all."

"I'm not going to do anything that I don't want to. Maybe I'll make a few friends but I'll be sure not to form any attachments. When you get to know people, you become obligated to do things for them and to be considerate to them even if you don't want to or can't be bothered to," "I decided. I'm going to live as much as possible and every day is going to be full of fun!"

"Every day is going to be full of fun?" I repeated slowly and he nodded. "You don't look like you're having fun right now," I observed, pinning him under my gaze.

There was such a silence that one could have drowned in it. Who knew that such silence could exist?

"That story about my dad makes me laugh so hard!" Fai's voice eventually rang out loud, returning to its former cheer but I was not convinced.

"If you go about forcing yourself to have fun, you can't really be happy. No one can expect to be happy all of the time," I looked at his shadow accusingly. "You're just afraid of sadness, aren't you/"

"What would you know about that?"

"I'm the same," I explained. In my head, warning bells were ringing. They were telling me not to speak of such an intimate matter with anyone but I did not care. "Rather than feel sad or lonely, I'd rather feel nothing at all. I'd rather never know anyone that risk getting let down by them," I did not care if he knew.

"Sorry Kuro-pon, that may be how you live but you're all wrong about me," he replied blithely. "I'm totally fine with how I live! Right now, I feel as if I could fly into the sky or walk on top of a rainbow! I do whatever I feel like doing and right now I feel like going home," he rose and stretched himself out. "Well, Kuro-chan, have fun!"

He was gone so quickly that I could hardly interject a word of protest. I doubt that I would even if I could. I simply watched his fleeing silhouette, accentuated in the firelight, running away from me just as he ran from all the pain and sadness in his life.

"There you are! I bought you a hotdog!" Tomoyo's cheerful voice startled me. I had completely forgotten that I had been with her before.

I stared at the hotdog as if it were some alien object the at the place where Fai had once been, trying to discern if everything had all been dream.

"He got away again," the words escaped from my lips.

Tomoyo tilted her head questioningly. "Who?"

"Oh, no one important."

XX

Fai did not show up for the rest of that week. Instead of missing him, I actually felt a little relieved that he was deciding to stay at home. What would I say to him if he did come in? What could I say to him? Fai had basically told me the whole reason to why he was always so strange and I had no clue as how to react.

It felt as if I was confusing his problems with my own. Mornings were spent contemplating what I had been told. I wondered, why had I never seen it before? He got on with everyone and was so amiable but underneath it all he was always keeping himself at a distance from everyone, doing whatever he wanted and following his craziest whims.

I thought of how he laughed when he almost fell from the school roof and felt a chill run down my spine.

"There's someone here to see you, Kurogane-kun," Tomoyo suddenly awoke me from my reverie.

I looked at the door but whoever was waiting for me was hiding outside in he corridor. It could not be Fai, he would just walk in, but then who could it be? I hesitated to meet this new person and almost laughed at myself when I realised that I was doing so. In the end, I was just like him, just as eager not to be near anyone as Fai was.

I stepped out of the classroom, just on step out and into the long corridor. That blonde underclassman stood on the other side of the narrow passage waiting for me.

I automatically tensed upon seeing her, unable to suppress my suspicious feelings. It was Chi, that girl that Fai had turned into his toy after he had been through with playing with me.

"Good morning, Kuro-chan," she smiled warmly.

"What did you just call me?"

"Kuro-chan."

I felt a muscle twitching somewhere near my eye. "Listen, since you're a girl, I'm not going to do anything but Kurogane-senpai is much more appropriate," I said in a strained voice.

Chi tilted her head to one side, looking at me with eyes so innocent they could kill. "But Fai told me to call you Kuro-chan," she gently protested.

"Fai!" I started at the very mention of his name. "Is he slacking off again?"

"No."

"Then, is he ill?" I asked, fighting back the concern that had involuntarily risen from the back of my throat.

"No."

"So he _is_ slacking off."

"Fai is not slacking off," she repeated in a stronger tone but not aggressively. "Fai asked me to check on you."

My mouth opened speechlessly. I was honestly shocked. "He did?"

Chi nodded vigorously, her blonde hair flapping up and down with ever nod. "He also told me to tell you that…um…" she paused, pressing a finger against her lip as she tried to recall the message that she was meant to relay. "Oh! That he would appreciate it if you would put rat poison in Gertrude's water bottle on his behalf!"

"He must be slacking off!" I exploded. Spinning back round, I planned to return to my desk where I could contemplate in comfort how best to punish him for his capricious behaviour.

"By the bridge across the river," Chi's voice rang out over the normal, steady stream of class conversation. "Fai will be there," he said.

Then she disappeared.

XX

Sure enough, he was right there by the river where we had once spent the afternoon together. He stood on the path before the land sloped down towards the river.

What did Chi mean when she said that Fai would be there? From his stance, he was obviously not waiting for anyone. That meant that Chi had not consulted with Fai before telling me where he would be. What was her intention by telling me this? No, I pushed such trivial thoughts aside in favour of what really mattered.

"Hey!" I called for his attention.

Fai turned. "Oh, it's you," he shrugged me off. What was up with that cold greeting?

"You've been slacking off again, you lazy bum!" I yelled, undeterred by his distant attitude. "I've been thinking about what you said and - "

"Please don't bother me anymore Kurogane."

I heard his words before their meaning fully hit me. The sudden force was like a rush of hard wind that knocked me over. They cut through me, leaving me in such a stunned silence that I could barely utter a statement of disbelief.

Fai turned to look at me. With the sun to his back, his hair whipping wildly in the wind he seemed almost to glow. A hand pushed back golden strands of hair and he smiled coldly. I don't think I ever had seen a more discerning moment than when looked at me with such distant eyes and smiled as if someone else was merely pulling back the edges of his lips.

"You slow me down," he spoke quietly but there was such silence enveloping us that his words were loud and clear. "It's troublesome to form attachments. I never realised how much time I was spending with you. I never noticed that I had crossed the line," he said.

That painted expression, that plastic smile infuriated me. Why was he acting so fake? Why was he suddenly giving me the cold shoulder? His smile, his face, his figure, his voice, everything about him irritated me to no end.

I could not understand it and neither could I control it. No one should be able to make me feel this angry but there I was, with cold fury raging through my body.

"Don't screw with me!" I snarled at him. "Running away from sadness and pain, moving through life as fast as you can so that the loneliness can never catch up to you! How can you stand to live like that? It's pathetic!"

Fai's eyes widened with anger. I had never seen him angry before. He raged like a wild beast. His hands were balled into angry fits and his teeth clenched together.

"And what about you?" he retorted. "You act tough but you're just scared of social situations. You're too terrified of getting close to anyone because you don't want to be hurt! You coward!"

"Shut the fuck up!" I bit back at him, and then I did something that I never believed I would do.

I hit him.

We tumbled over the edge of the road and down the slope towards the river, wrestling and tearing into the other, shouting obscenities as we rolled down. Fai was a scrappy fighter but I was stronger.

I was shouting so loudly that I could hardly hear what Fai was yelling back at me. I suppose that it did not matter. We were yelling at each other, but really we were shouting at ourselves. All the frustration that we had locked inside came pouring out. All that anger at ourselves. Those countless thoughts that invaded our heads rose up - If only I was stronger, if only other people did not exist, if only I was braver, if only…if only…

As we hit the bottom of the slope, I rolled away. Both of us lay there against the grass panting breathlessly as we stared up at a sky that was too bight and blue for the both of us. It was mesmerising. It was so dazzling a blue that it knocked us down the moment we tried to stand, so deep and rich that I lost myself in the sky for just a moment.

I lay there, gazing up at the blue sky. Of all people, why was it him, I wondered. No one had ever been able to affect me like this. How had he slipped through my walls? How had he managed to trick me?

I turned my head to one side to gaze at him breathing heavily. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked.

"No."

"Good."

It was odd, but I felt better after having childishly rolled down the slope. After we had yelled our hearts out, I felt that perhaps we were getting somewhere. I could not have been more wrong.

* * *

A hint of bad things to come. Chi was hard to write as you may have guessed. I tried to keep her core peronality the same whilst making her seem different due to being older and growing up in different circumstances.


	7. Chapter 7

Uguu, finally finished this chapter.

* * *

Chapter seven

XX

I never forgot that night. Fai's silhouette, outline by the light of the fireworks was imprinted in my mind forever.

As one week turned into the next, the same routine continued over and over without end. Waking up in the morning, going to school going home, eating sleeping. It was always the same. It was back to the same, grey routine that had infected my life before.

With a subdued Fai hanging around class, my life was a lot more peaceful. It was a lot more boring as well.

I kept thinking about what he had told me, playing that conversation over and over in my mind. Though our way of life was completely different, we were not all that dissimilar…and that troubled me. Whenever I thought about what he told me, I kept thinking 'that's kinda like how I am.' Then that single thought would turn unfavourable and before I knew it I did not know what to do.

One thing was for sure, I had to talk to that idiot and sort things out. My obsession I can neither explain nor understand. Was that stupid of me? Maybe his idiocy was contagious, I don't know. I didn't even know how I felt about him. I just did not want him to run.

Therefore, one gloriously sunny afternoon, I set my plan into motion.

Walking up to his desk, I hit my knuckled against it to get his attention. "We need to talk," I said seriously but that idiot, who had been previously feigning sleep, looked up blearily, glanced at the clock and made some lame excuse to be elsewhere.

"There is something wrong between the two of you, isn't there?" Tomoyo looked worried. Whenever she was not making passes at that underclassman she admired, she always seemed to pour concern on our situation. "You used to be so close," she sighed.

"No, we never were very close at all," I murmured absently, my gaze fixed on the classroom door.

Yeah, we were never really that close. Fai was always just pretending.

XX

That day seemed to be cursed by the Gods. Our school was not particulalry big bit as I continued to look for Fai so that we could sit down and have that damn talk, I seemed to be running to everyone except him.

"Hey, Yuzuriha, you seen Fai?" I called as I prowled the corridors in search of my disappearing target. I would never usually talk to someone I did not absolutely know but I thought that I might as well try my luck. Girls tended to have an impressive information network when it came to the opposite sex.

However, she was one of the less well-informed girls of our school. "No, not recently. Try the roof," she shook her head and added, bemused, "are you stalking him again?"

Despite her sudden interest in my affairs, I shot down her assumptions with a classic 'I've had enough of this crap' look and briefly wondered if she had been purposefully spreading that rumour around. Yet there was no time to dwell on it, as I should have. I had a stupid, yet highly elusive, blond creature to catch.

Fortunately, I knew its local habitat by heart.

As I made my way to the roof I did indeed find a small, little blonde thing but unfortunately for me said creature was not the one that I was looking for. With my hand still gripped around the handle, I breathed an exhausted sigh. Why was I running into everyone _but_ Fai?

"Where's Fai?" I stepped out onto the roof, joining that blonde underclassman by the railings overlooking the school grounds.

Chi looked up at me and asked sweetly, "he isn't in his class?"

Clueless girls were the only ones that I seemed to know.

"He _was_," I sighed, utterly fed up by his escape. "You've been hanging around him a lot, haven't you? How is he? I mean, how does he treat you? What's he like around you?"

"Fai is very sweet!" she nodded. "Although sometimes he does things that are a little strange."

"That second part sounds about right," I muttered.

"But Kuro-chan would know Fai better than I do."

"Are you crazy?" I started. The force of her accusation was so startling I almost laughed in spite of myself. However, in my sober state, I turned my gaze away from her and muttered, "I can't help him," as I watched the birds wheel and call above us. "It would be like the blind leading the blind. I think that it would be better if that idiot had someone like you around instead."

If that idiot had someone like Chi…

Well, she was sweet and cute and probably out-going as well. Someone optimistic and bright could surely bring the best out of Fai. I, however, was cynical, pessimistic and a lost case.

Then the thing that had been bothering me all day finally hit me with its full force. How could I say anything to him when I was as bad as he was? Could I really do anything? Why should I bother doing anything anyway?

As I began to struggle against my thoughts, the door to the roof opened and my target finally made his grand entrance.

"Oh, hello Kuro-chan!"

"Don't 'Oh, hello Kuro-chan!' me!" I stabbed a finger at him. "We need to talk!"

Fai's smile was calm and easy. Unperturbed by my irritation, he said his greetings to Chi and leaned between the both of us with his back to the railings and his head slightly tilted to drink the sky.

"Yeah, you said so before. Well, I'm free now. What is it?" he asked lightly.

Something about him seemed more buoyant and confident than before, as if a huge weight had suddenly been lifted. He was visibly relieved, although I had no idea why.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. Now that he was here, willingly listening, I had no idea what I wanted to say.

"You and I…we're quite alike," I started off slowly. "Of course, you're infinitely stupider, a lot less reliable, have the mental age of a child, and possess the worst taste buds in the world! At the core though, I guess that we're a little the same."

Fai smiled a little and said nothing. Neither did Chi. I glanced at her, wondering if Fai really wanted her to hear this but since she did not seem to be leaving anytime soon, I recklessly continued.

"You said that you didn't want to form attachments. You said that you would live every day to its fullest and do whatever you want but that's not living at all! What's wrong with doing things for others? What's wrong attachments? You're not living you're running away from life!"

I think that I got a bit carried away but I could not stop. I desperately wanted to get through to him that I lost all sense. Words kept pouring out of my mouth and I could not stop them.

"Life…it isn't something difficult. It doesn't have to be loud and elaborate," I said softly. My wavering thoughts kept trying to take over. Even as my mouth moved on its own I felt as if I was telling these things to myself as well, as if I was trying to gain the courage to overcome my own problems as well.

"Life can be simple. It doesn't even have to be all that exciting. What's important is that…well, that you're happy with who you and what you're doing, I guess."

Fai's expression was unreadable. He smiled a little but I could not tell how genuine that smile was.

"Hey," he said in a calm, confidant voice, "do you want to hang out after school?"

I glanced at Chi but she smiled as if she did not mind and left us alone. Once she was gone, I turned back to him, incredulous. It was so sudden. What brought about this change of heart?

"S – sure," I agreed, unsure of what I was getting myself into.

XX

That time was different from the last time we had 'hung out.' This time was…normal. I admit that sometimes I would get the weird feeling that, had Fai been a girl, it would have looked like a date, but otherwise it seemed to anyone watching that we were just two high school students hanging out. No one would have suspected that I was socially retarded and he had the mentality of a sugar-high wing-nut.

"I thought about what you said," Fai spoke as we traversed the shopping district.

"And?" I raised my eyebrows.

"It's okay if life isn't exciting or full of action as long as you're content," he echoed. "Do you really believe that…or is that just how you think life should be?" he stared at me with serious eyes that cut through me.

I was a little taken aback by his question but I recovered quickly enough. "Of course I believe it!" I declared.

He burst out laughing. "You're so passionate, Kuro-rin!"

Realising that he was just making fun of me like he always did, annoyed me further but, deep down, I think that I was a little relieved. With mock indignation I chased him the rest of the way down the high street.

XX

Time flew faster than it had ever done before. Just when the sun was at its peak, I looked again and it had already sunk beneath the sky. The last light was gently extinguishing itself and the shadows were growing around our ankles.

We walked without knowing where we were going and our wanderings eventually lead us to an old park. The swings were all empty now. The round-about was lopsided and gathering rust, large plastic dinosaurs stood with fading pink painted coats and a single bench overlooking it all seemed lonely and cold by itself.

"I actually had a good time, y'know?" I yawned as I seated myself on the bench next to Fai.

"Yeah," he nodded, his voice sounding oddly distant. However, I lay that all down to him feeling tired and thought no more about it.

"We should…if you want, we should hang out again sometime," I continued, pushing the hair out of my eyes.

"Yeah."

"We can go somewhere else if you like."

"Yeah."

"It's your treat next time, okay?"

"Yeah," he whispered, his voice barely audible in the thickness of the evening.

I frowned. He was being too subdued and complacent. Even when I shifted my gaze to focus on his face, he failed to notice my attention and kept his head slightly bowed.

I could hear the crickets starting to chirp, penetrating the blanket of darkness and silence. A slight breeze stirred the trees around us and quickly passed, not wanting to linger amongst us.

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to peer at his face without invading his personal space.

Fai finally lifted his head. A smile was plastered to him lips as though it had been carefully fixed into place. He stood and walked three steps from the bench but just when I was about to call him back he swivelled round, still smiling benignly.

"I was just thinking how late it's become," he turned his gaze towards the sky. "It's very late. It's almost too late. I should get going before I miss my train."

I started somewhat. I wanted to say that if I had known that he had other attachments, I would not have held him up but I reconsidered that comment. Since when did Fai form any attachments? He practically said so himself that he avoided those things like the plague.

Realising that he was waiting for me to speak, I cleared my throat and lamely muttered, "are you going somewhere?"

Fai's smile widened but it lacked any cheer. His smile grew yet failed to reach his eyes. It was strange, in the darkness, amongst the shadows that flickered across his face, how haunting his smile could seem.

"I don't like trains very much. You stand there alone on a crowded platform amongst all those strangers," he said ruefully. "I always think that someone will suddenly appear. Wouldn't it be kinda nice if someone showed up unexpectedly when you're feeling lonely?"

Thinking that this was some sort of hint, I asked "Do you want me to come with you?" but he shook his head. I should have known that if Fai wanted me to come along he would have hauled me to the station without any compunction.

"It's okay. You should be going home," he replied instead. His sudden amount of consideration for me was starting to creep me out. I had a very bad feeling that, as soon as my guard was down, he would immediately revert back to 'dictator Fai.'

"Alight then," I answered cautiously and stood up just in case he tried anything. "See you tomorrow."

Fai smiled and nodded, turning around to make his own way to wherever the hell he was going. The sight of his retreating back, picked out by the setting sun, reminded me of the night of the cultural fest, but I dismissed my thoughts as trivial. I should have known that something was amiss. He didn't say see you tomorrow in return. He said goodbye.

* * *

Ah, the emo-ness continued. By the way, CV is coming along too.


	8. Chapter 8

Angsting because my computer is still crap. Onto chapter eight we go.

* * *

Chapter eight

XX

"My poor Sakura-chan is being swayed onto the path of evil by some boy!" Tomoyo kept hitting her fist against her desk with indignation.

Though the lunch bell had sounded, neither of us happened to be especially hungry and since Fai had decided not to show up today we spent our break in the quiet confines of the classroom.

Of course, one would wonder how quiet it could be when Tomoyo was ranting my ear off.

"You're over-reacting," I put bluntly. Tomoyo was always prone to drama, exaggerating her smallest of achievements and tiniest of failures with commendable energy.

"How cruel!" she cried with mock hurt. "You don't even know this boy and yet you're sticking up for him!"

"And now you're exaggerating," I sighed. "Besides, you're not familiar with this boy either. Do you even know his name?"

"Of course I do!" she replied, but then she hesitated, her eyes fluttering down to her desk. "It's…Sha…Sharon."

"Sharon?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's Syaoran."

We both turned at the sound of this new voice. I suppose I was a fool for getting my hopes up. I should not have thought that maybe it would be Fai, coming in late with a stupid, apologetic grin that would dissolve into a lazy smile.

Now that I think about it, Fai had not been in school for a while. Even Hamu was beginning to show signs of recovery.

However, I was only disappointed and even more pissed off to see whom it really was speaking to us.

"Jeez, don't sneak up on people like that!" I bit at him, more annoyed than I should have been.

Eriol had long been a part of our class but since he sat on the far end of the class I had never really spoken to him. Tomoyo was familiar with him though, which I suppose gave him an excuse to audaciously enter out conversation like that.

Even though we had never spoken to each other, he pissed me off in some ways. He always seemed so confident and sure of himself and he carried himself with a mature, calm, and controlled air that made girls everywhere swoon.

Fortunately Tomoyo was not one of those brainless masses.

"You're in an awfully bad mood today. Missing a certain someone?" he said with an all-knowing smile. Yeah right.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I snapped back. "Anyway, if you're so worried about Sharon - "

"It's Syaoran," Eriol interjected, though the boy could have been called Loopy-Lily-May for all I cared.

" – Then maybe I should have a word with him," I finished without realising the gravity of my words until I had uttered them and it was too late to take them back.

"You would do that for me?" Tomoyo's eyes were shining with fake tears of happiness. I happen to know that she carries around a vial of eye drops in her bag in order to sway the schoolboys to her will. She truly is the incarnation of evil.

"No, I just figured that, with you as the enemy, the poor boy could use an ally," I shrugged.

"Going out of your way to make an acquaintance? That's unusual for you," Eriol said in a manner that made me want to snap at him, 'what damn business is it of yours?' but I restrained myself.

"Not really," I shrugged again and tried to feign an apathetic appearance. "Anyway, show me who this Sharon guy is sometime."

"It's Syaoran."

Despite my encounter with Eriol, I was feeling stupidly content with myself for once. I had never felt that way since my middle-school days. I wondered; was it him who was making me feel better? Was if Fai?

Maybe that was the beginning of my surprise.

As I wondered the school halls in order to get away from Eriol and the insane girls that populated our class during the second half of lunch, I caught something small and blonde almost run past me.

"Chi!" I caught her before she tripped over herself. "So, is the idiot slacking off again or is he actually sick this time?"

"Thank you, Kuro-chan," she said, straightening. I would need to give her the talk about the correct way to use my name but for the time being I decided not to go into detail about it.

"So, what's Fai's excuse for not coming into school this time?" I asked, more keen to know where that lay-about had gone to during these school days.

"Fai…isn't coming back anymore,"

I don't think that I truly comprehended her words.

"What?" I dumbly asked. I had never sounded so stupid or so shocked.

"Fai is gone," she repeated with grave finality, yet I still did not understand. I did not want to understand.

"What? Where?" I asked hurriedly.

"I'm sorry. I promised - " she began but the moment she had said 'I'm sorry' I had already belted down the corridor, running as if my life depended on it. It probably did.

What do they call it when you discover something important? A revelation? I always thought that a revelation was learning something large and shocking that you never knew before. This was different. I had always known it, deep down, I had always been aware of it but it was not until today that I was prepared to acknowledge it.

Fai saved my life. I was not going to return to the grey life that I had before I had met him.. I was not going to go back to that, to watching the days flow into the next with hardly any transition in between, always watching other people's happiness, always standing on the outside looking in.

Even as someone cried "No running in the hallways!" I hardly heard them. I ran and kept running out of the school gates. I ran through traffic, ran past shops, past the river where we spent our afternoons together, past the shopping district and the park where I had seen him last.

I ran all the way to his home.

"Excuse me! Is Fai at home?" I asked when his uncle finally answered after three minutes of frantically knocking. I hardly had time to catch my breath and so I wheezed my words almost pathetically.

My heart was still racing. Even as I told myself how stupid I was being, even when I said that I should not care about it, I could not help but feel concern. It was as if something had taken all my pride and logic and thrown them into the scrap heap.

"Fai? No, he's not in," his uncle yawned lazily. Just what did the man do for a living?

"Do you know where he's gone?" I pressed.

"No idea," he shrugged.

"No idea?" I echoed with disbelief. I wanted to shout at him, 'you're his uncle, dammit!' but then he would have refused me when I asked, "May I come in please? I just need to get something from his room."

"Sure," he shrugged again and opened the door wider.

I was stunned speechless that I almost forgot to step inside. What kind of man just let someone walk into their nephew's room? Sure, he knew that I was a friend but I had hardly visited enough times to be trusted. What if I wanted to steal his money or his possessions? What if I was a pervert?

Shaking my head of those thoughts, I hurried to his room. It was a tip as usual but I managed to wade through the mess in order to find something, anything that would give a clue to where he was going.

I sorted through his desk, pulling out drawers and searching through his folders. As I pulled out the last folder on his desk, a prospectus for several high schools fell out. I caught it before it hit the floor and flicked through it like a man possessed.

Some schools were crossed out with a broad red marker pen, others were circled as prospective places. Amongst the list of names, our high school was one of the few circled, as was Momokuri academy. A date and time had also been marked out besides it.

"_As far as I know, he's been living with his uncle in the same house for over ten years but he's never stayed at one school for more than two years or so. The funny thing is, he wasn't kicked out of his schools."_

"_I think that Chi would look absolutely cute in one of the uniforms from Momokuri academy. Their uniforms are so unique!"_

"_Goodbye. Kuro-chan."_

"Momokuri," I breathed. Then, suddenly, the anger took a hold of me. "He's transferring to Momo-fucking-kuri?" I yelled and bolted out of the door, running down the stairs, skipping two steps at a time. I was out of the door without saying my thanks to his uncle.

It was not too late. I could still catch him if I ran.

Why? Why would he do something like this? Was that why he looked so relieved, why he was co compliant yesterday? Because he knew that he would be in no danger of forming an attachment since he would be leaving anyway?

"That idiot!"

I should have been named athlete of the year for all the running that I did that day. I made it to the station just as the clock struck three. His appointment was at five fifteen. If it took an hour to get there on the train then he should still be at the station waiting for it.

With a triumphant grin, I made my way to the platform to knock some sense into that idiot.

Unfortunately, the open platform was already quite crowded that it would take some time to find him. Well, I reasoned that, as long as the train did not arrive, I would be fine.

I called his name as I hurried through the crowds. Even as I searched, I could not find him at all though I ran from one length of the platform to the next. I pushed past the suits lined near the edge waiting, struggling past crowds of people, looking frantically this way and that.

I could hear the train coming closer now and I panicked. The familiar rushing roar of the train began to grow. Where was he? He had to be here so where was he? As I spun around, my breath caught in my throat.

In all the months I had known him, I always called Fai an idiot, but I realised that day that I was just as stupid.

Fai stood there, dressed as if he had planned to go to school that day, his hair ruffled by the wind and a tender smile teasing his lips. He looked at me and his smile widened until it reached the blue of his eyes. I looked at him in wonder, almost amazed.

He mouthed something but there was so much noise around us that I could not make out what was being said. The train was rattling closer. I tried to yell that I could not hear him. Even if he could not hear me either, I think that he understood for he mouthed the words more deliberately this time and repeated them over and over until the train pulled onto the opposite platform, cutting him from my sight.

I was so stupid. Why? How could I have made such an idiotic mistake?

In my haste, I had run onto the wrong side of the platform, on the opposite side of the tracks from where Fai stood. It was too late to make a break for it now. I could only watch as he stepped on and the train pulled away again, taking him with it.

What does it feel like when something that you want to catch hold of suddenly disappears from reach? It's strange. When you turn around expecting to see someone, but no one's there. No matter how hard you search, that person is no longer there.

I ran over to the opposite platform as soon as the train left. The next one was in thirty minutes. I waited for it in silence but I did not get on. There was no point in getting on. After all, by the time I made it there, it would be too late.

* * *

I'm angsting. Kuro-chan's angsting. Fai's angst-angsting. Cheer up everyone! Anywy, please look forward to the last chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

Wah! I can't believe it's over. Funnily enough, I didn't listen to How to save a life once whilst writing this. Anyway, so ends this fic, please enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter nine**

XX

This is a true account of everything that has happened to me from the point Fai transferred to the school to, well…the end, I guess.

Granted, I haven't included everything like, for instance, the number of times I used the bathroom, my adopted mother's frightening obsession with Elton John, or every single detail of Fai's lunacy, but every major event I have covered honestly (enough) and with detail.

That is why you should believe that everything that I say happened really did.

And what if you don't believe me? Well then screw you. Who the hell are you anyway?

XX

"Kurogane," my mother called on me the instant I arrived home, tired and thoroughly pissed off. "I got a call from your school. Where were you all day?" she asked but I stalked upstairs to my room without answering her, hearing her yell my name up the stairs.

As soon as I reached my room, I slammed the door close and flopped onto my bed. The word "Idiot!" escaped from me and I was suddenly caught up in the urge to punch something.

I don't know how long I stayed there, lying on my bed, gazing up at the ceiling as the clock ticked the minutes and hours by. By the time I sat up, I was feeling groggy and it was almost midnight.

If I had any sense, I would have just called it a day and gone to bed but I knew very well that there was no way that I could possibly sleep. That, and because hanging around with Fai for so long had knocked off a few of my brain cells.

Without a word, I slipped downstairs, sure that the rest of the house was sleeping. As quietly as I could, I took the latch off of the door and stole out of the house.

My first objective was to reach Fai's house and talk to the moron. Even if the idiot were sleeping, I would shake him until he was wide-awake and then…and then what would I do? What would I say?

Before I could think of anything, I had already made it to his home. The lights were still on. I was surprised but pleased that I would not have to go throwing bricks into windows to get some attention.

The doorbell rang and a moment later Fai's uncle dressed in a vest and shorts peered sleepily from inside. I could hear the TV running and the sound of canned laughter coming from the set.

"Excuse me, I'd like to talk to Fai," I said, giving no excuse for my lateness of apologising for the time.

"Fai?" his uncle leaned on the door-post and scratched his belly. "I dunno where he is," he shrugged.

I unconsciously drew a sharp breath.

"He...he hasn't come home yet?" It was already late and all the schools would be closed by now. I quickly pushed my apprehension out of me. There was no need to be worried. Who would be worried about that idiot anyway?

"Staying out all night isn't unusual for him," he shrugged again. "God knows what that boy does all day."

"Well maybe you should find out," I replied tersely.

"What's that?" he blinked lazily, hardly listening to me.

I glared at him. Never so badly had I wanted to hit a man as I did now. "You're his uncle, aren't you? You should know these things! His favourite food, his song…do you know anything about him at all?" I cried.

His uncle looked thoroughly bored "Look, Fai doesn't have a problem with how I raise him. I give him freedom and let him do whatever he wants and he's fine with that."

"You're two strangers living in the same house!" I yelled at him. Before I turned to leave, I looked back and snapped at him, "And for your information, Fai's favourite food is gummi bear sandwiches! His favourite kind of pets are cats, though he has a soft spot for dogs with floppy ears, he can't sing worth a damn but he's always bellowing songs by Oruha from the roof, he laughs at the stupidest things and his smile - "

I stopped. What I was doing? Since his uncle was staring at me, I decided that I might as well finish. "When he's really, sincerely smiling, he looks sorta cute," I grumbled and took off into the night.

"_I don't like trains very much. You stand there alone on a crowded platform amongst all those strangers. I always think that someone will suddenly appear. Wouldn't it be kinda nice if someone showed up unexpectedly when you're feeling lonely?" _Fai had said. Now I sort of understood what I meant.

The train could not arrive fast enough. I boarded impatiently and muttered my undying hate to the train for being so slow as it crawled its way through the stations.

I had no idea where Fai could have been. For all I knew, he was hanging by the river back home, but my gut told me otherwise.

Finally, the train pulled into the right station. I ran off, wondering where to go next. If I took a shortcut through the park next to the station, I could be at Momokuri academy's gates in twenty minutes, but why would the moron still hang around that school?

Still, it was better than standing on a deserted platform all night.

The park was already shut. I had to climb over the gates to get in, which was no difficult task really. The trees were lined up in neat rows which wound through large squares of grass fields. Their shadows were all dark and ominous as the wind blew.

"Fai!" I called out his name, hardly looking where I was going. "Fai!" I kept calling his name until I bumped into a tree.

Except it was not a tree and it was standing in the middle of my path.

"Fai!" I almost jumped. Though I could hardly make out his face in the darkness, I was sure that it was Fai.

"K – Kuro-chan!" he looked as if he had seen a ghost.

I don't know if it was because he was just caught off-guard and panicked or if really did not want to see me, but he suddenly burst into a run.

Naturally, I followed after him as he ran through the dark fields of the park.

"Why the hell are you running?" I demanded.

"Because you're chasing me!" he yelled over his shoulder.

"Stop running!"

"Stop chasing me!"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"Shall I be honest of tactful?" he returned.

"As if you could ever be tactful!" I yelled and made a leap for him, grabbing him by the legs, I brought him down onto the wet grass with a muffled 'ow!'

He was panting from the running he had done. So was I. His chest was heaving up and down, up and down, his hair in disarray against the stalks of green, his mouth parted to drink the sweet air and his eyes open wide and starring into the dark sky.

I grunted, crawled besides him and rolled onto my back, breathing heavily. My arms were damp with droplets of rain and my shirt smelt of the wet earth.

"You idiot!" I managed to hiss. "What do you think you're doing here? You like making people worry, don't you?"

He waited until he had recovered enough to speak without wheezing and then smiled a little bitterly, turning his head sideways to look at me.

"Heh, sorry, Kuro-rin."

Fai sat up, made to stand and walk away but I grabbed him before he could even get to his feet. I had him pinned underneath me, holding his shoulders firmly to the earth.

Part of me, somewhere, somehow, briefly worried over how incriminating this must have looked and demanded to know why I was so adamant about this, but I largely ignored that trivial part of my brain. I didn't want to think that I was being stupid. I didn't believe that I was clingy or childish. One had to take a firm hand when dealing with elusive idiots such as the one I had managed to pin down.

"Don't look at me like that!" I seethed. "Be serious! I'm not letting you go until you are."

Fai's eyes were closed to me, almost glazed over so that neither of us could see deep into the other's eyes. A smile curled his lips that failed to reach his eyes, his mouth parted but he did not laugh.

"So you came all this way to find me?" he asked, though his voice was unassuming it had a sharpness hidden underneath it that made my grip tighten. Fai's smile widened and still, somehow, failed to look authentic. "You shouldn't have. You didn't have to go out of your way…doing something so troublesome."

"You're a moron!" I snapped. "If I thought it was troublesome, I wouldn't have bothered. Why the hell do you think I'm out here anyway?"

"Because you've decided to embrace the spirit of a true delinquent?"

"Idiot! It's because I wanted to!" Fai's expression was priceless, as if he had just discovered the sun. I growled at him and went on. "I know that you don't want to be attached to anyone, you don't want to be obligated to do things that you don't want to. But if you like someone, you won't mind having to do things for them."

I fell silent after I spoke. My heart was pounding but I could not discern the reason why. There was something tingling in my chest, something hard and horrible that made my stomach squirm. What was it? Fear? Hope? Anger? Apprehension? There was no name for this feeling. It infested my stomach and wormed its way through my system, taking over every rational part of me.

I held my breath in my throat, feeling like a fool.

Fai's fingers reached for me. They latched onto me and began to play with the second button of my shirt as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. "So does this mean that you like me?" his voice murmured, thick with fatigue.

I stared into the far away look in his eyes and all I could dumbly ask was "What?"

Fai remained absorbed by my button. "Do you like me, Kuro-rin?" he asked.

Caught dangerously close to admitting something other than reluctant friendship, I hesitantly replied, "you're…tolerable."

"I suppose so," he agreed, then said, "I was really lonely before you came," and somehow, I got the impression that he was not talking about when he was wandering by himself a few hours ago.

However, thinking about that brought a most unwelcome subject to mind.

"How was your enrolment?" I asked, forcing the question lodged in my throat to take form.

"I didn't enrol," he said bluntly.

His smile plummeted but my heart soared.

"I haven't officially left our old school either so…"

"What?" was becoming my favourite one-word phrase. That and 'idiot!'

He looked almost pained. Although he tried to keep his wavering smile plastered to his face it was failing him miserably. His face scrunched up in a vain attempt to hold it there but eventually, with grave finality he let it flutter uselessly to the floor.

The smile gone, he looked up at me with eyes that were full of optimism and fear, pain and hope. His mouth remained slightly parted. He looked different, open and vulnerable, confused and lost. He was like a butterfly that had just broken from its cocoon and was struggling to fly.

"I got to the school and then I started having doubts," he whispered, his voice trembling in the moist air. "I was confused. I've never doubted myself before. I always cut through life, moving faster than my doubts and sadness could catch up to me. It didn't make any sense. All these thoughts kept going through my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't go through with it. Why was I doubting myself now?"

I stayed silent, staring down at his body lying beneath me. He did not look like he was going to run but I kept my position, fearing that the slightest shift in the atmosphere would shatter this fragile moment.

Fai clenched his teeth in an internal battle, fighting something inside of him. I stared at him as he struggled and lost and I realised that he had been stubbornly holding back tears.

"I hate you, Kuro-chan!" he spat as the spilled onto his cheeks. He stared at me accusingly with all the energy that he could muster. "If you didn't always get in my way, I wouldn't be feeling so miserable right now!" he cried.

There was nothing.

Inside of me, I did not feel anything. Or maybe I felt everything and just could not tell the difference.

I was so calm that it surprised even me. A smile took over my lips, curling warmly as nodded.

"Yeah, I know."

His fists moved to hurriedly wipe away his tears, looking obstinate and defiant even as they escaped him. He tried to look away, tried to hide them. Had the circumstances been different, he would have blamed it on being sleepy or hay fever but I would not buy such excuses now and he gave none.

"If you weren't there, I could just keep running! If you weren't so insistent, I would never have had to doubt myself. I would never have had wonder if I was just pretending to be happy!" He lifted his arms up. I thought he was going to try and strangle me from below but instead his hands became fists, pounding half-heartedly at my chest. "I hate you!"

"Yeah."

"I'll hate you 'til you die!"

"Okay."

"I'll never forgive you!"

"That's fine," I agreed, "But, since you'll be hating my guts for a long time, would you mind coming back home?"

I was not sure if he was shocked. I thought that I felt him draw a sharp breath but that could have been my imagination.

"Why?" I allowed myself to be pushed off as he sat up, finally gaining control over his tears. "What is it about you that makes me unable to run away? Why do I always have to face up to life when you're with me?"

I looked away, turning my attention to the grass. My fingers plucked random stalks from the ground, twirling them absently between my fingers.

"Today, Tomoyo was complaining about this boy stealing the affections of her favourite," I said slowly. "I told her that if she's going to hold a grudge against him, perhaps I should back him up. It's unusual for me to talk to anyone I don't know well. I don't get on with people at all. During the whole conversation with Tomoyo, I wanted to take back what I said. Socially retarded as I am. I really did not want to risk meeting someone knew."

I turned my gaze upon him now, staring at him unflinchingly.

"I could ask you the same question. What is it about you that makes me unable to run away?"

There were no answers that Fai could possibly give me. In the darkness of the night, I closed his eyes as if there was nothing else in the universe, as if the world only existed for this moment. It was too perfect to be real. It did not feel real. Fai sitting there on the wet grass, his hair in disarray and his cheeks dashed with red, and myself, sitting besides him in such complete calmness.

I wondered if the world would end soon.

Fai stood. The world remained.

"Let's go home," he extended a hand towards me, helping me to my feet. "Let's go home, Kuro-chan…" he smiled like a child and his breath tickled my ear.

* * *

After Kurogane finished spouting his romantic affections for Fai to his uncle, I had the urge for him to say; 'Boy, you're gay' but that would have ruined the mood.

There should be a part where Fai returns to school to torture Hamu. 'I've been busy for a while but now I'm back, so let's have some fun, Gertrude,' he says with an evil glint in his eye as poor Hamu quivers in fear.

Well, so ends my first attempt at an AU. It's made me want to write more AUs. I never used to dare writing them or even read them but they're not that horrible, are they? Anyway, thanks to all my reviewers. It was fun.


End file.
